The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. 49. Why do bees have sticky hair? Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? A four-chin teller. That's it for now! If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. He's all right now. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. Youd better be. Knock Knock! A $100 bill. An impasta. As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. Knock Knock. This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. All it was doing was gathering dust! I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. What's E.T. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. You spread its little legs. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaserthat's why we call them that! 17. Cookie Notice Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear brightuntil they open their mouths. A slipper. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? A deodor-ant. Explanation: Youd have to be insane to jump off a bridge and into the Seine, the river that runs through Paris. 86 Funny Why Did The. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Take my advice its not like Im dumb enough to. Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. What Is My Angel Number? 9. He kept leaving little messages around the house. Oinkment. For more information, please see our Did you fall from heaven? No? Tap To Copy. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? Elementree school. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? What did one hat say to the other? A buccaneer. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Waiter Who? On June 23rd, 2011, Neogaf [6] user NIN90 . Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Phillipe Phillope. 40. What did the alien say to the flower bed? What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? No, but I could tell you needed my help. What do we want? No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. Its the people I tell them to who cant. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? He just can't part with it. Dont make me come in there! Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. We suppose you belong to those daredevils. Close the door, I'm dressing. Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? The extra E in three and the missing R in error. The third error? Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. just ask them why they are so insecure about things. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. 1. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? "Make me one with everything.". Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. He pasta-way. My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? You put a little boogie in it. Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. See ya! His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. Alright, are you ready? "Dill me in!". You come across as a person who has low self-esteem and is embarrassed to ask anybody for anything, for the fear of being refused or rejected again and again, so I did it on my own and to stop you from becoming a spectacle. If you're here, who's running hell? She wanted it in case she had to draw blood. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? King Henry the Second. This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. Do you love telling jokes? King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. There were two goldfish in a tank. All while making the question asker look dumb. Read more about Martin here. I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. It loafs. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentines Day? What did the left eye say to the right eye? So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Because they are so lavable. She gave me an Australian kiss. How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. The Satisfactory. Beano Jokes Team. Just another reason to moan, really. If youve ever been in situations where you say something, and someone says, did I ask and you dont know how to respond, these did i ask comebacks will serve you well. 11. Elementree school. They did unspeakable things to me. "Whaddya mean?" Also if I asked you wouldn't be talking. xhr.send(payload); Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. I don't know how I feel about that. You guys didn't like it. What do a guy and a car have in common? Find out here! Dont use them at work or around children. In many cases, these and the previously-suggested formulas are no more than conversational fillers; the direct approach of just asking the question you want to ask often is a better thing to do. Dont worry, said the doc. What did the left eye say to the right eye? The fact that there are only two errors. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? These classic What did? What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. How do you make a tissue dance? Where are average things manufactured? What does it take to make an octopus laugh? Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. Because they're really good at it. Robin who? With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Did I Ask animated GIFs to your conversations. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain their rude question. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. Totally shocked. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. What did the little tree say to the big tree? How did the pig get to the hogspital? Ate something. Sucka. I didnt ask for your opinion either, so why respond. jokes just never get old well, almost never! So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Thats the church I used to go to.. 2. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. Well, I am 100% sure you did. Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Where do you find a cow with no legs? What do you call a guy with a small dick? 30. Country Living editors select each product featured. What did one say to the other? He ate the pizza before it was cool. Person 1: Knock-knock. She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? But that's not all. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. What did one plate say to the other plate? The bartender says, "Why the long face?". I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. What do you call a fish with no eyes? What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? 43. Strong people dont put others down. This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. I dont know how to do it. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. Between you and me, something smells. "Are you gay?". Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? There was nothing left but de-Brie. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. Sucka dick and let me in. Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? Oh, no. short for? Its a win-win! Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. Copy it to easily share with friends. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. 28. For fingering a minor. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. Wheeeee! The man. What is red and smells like blue paint? Why is history like a fruit cake? One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Manage Settings Because every play has a cast. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. I took a poop in the elevator. A pig in a hot tub. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. There's no menuyou get what you deserve. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. He was deadlifting. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. 41. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. 19. You look drunk. Why did the cow jump over the moon? What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. Not being a retard. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" Im taking this shit to a whole new level. Good luck. Originally Published: May 29, 2019 When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! What did the big flower say to the little flower? We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well-armed. } else { Love means nothing to them. She couldn't control her pupils. (Think trolls) Knock knock. and our Bernadette. A slipper. How did the hipster burn his mouth? When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. Spoiled milk. When did I ask? A penguin in the washing machine. Your parents didnt ask for you, but here we are. There are twenty of them. It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. Sorry, I'm still working on it. A bear walks into a restaurant. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? 9. Waiter! Because it was a little horse. You boil the hell out of it. Why don't male ants sink? Ivana. READ THIS NEXT: 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. Why do cows have bells? Whats the best part about gardening? } 3. It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. How does a squid go into battle? Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.". When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. What do you call a bear without any teeth? Me! Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. A submarine. 36. What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? Dinner's on me. Con Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Tap To Copy. On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. So youre the only one? Oh, I didnt tell you? "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". How did the hipster burn his mouth? Mississippi. Every 'Who asked' copypasta. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? 2. How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Explanation: A Buddhist whos one with everything is connected to the universe. When you die, what part of the body dies last? While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? 7. Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Ivana fuck your brains out. "That . From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? What did one ocean say to the other ocean? One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Shes going to eat me! Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. 21. A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. A receding hare-line. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. Halfway. 23. The bartender asks, "Dry?". How do you open a banana? Whats long and hard and full of semen? The pupils they dilate.