husband drunk when i went into labor husband drunk when i went into labor

When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. It's too much. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. Help her stay focused and relaxed. Needless to say, he was NOT happy about that statement but I don't care. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. I wanted him to leave so I could have peace! Suffer, dear. Plenty of men AND women have demanding and stressful jobs and do not need to hit the bottle to deal with it on a regular nightly basis.they remain present with their partners and families, and find non-self-destructive ways to deal with stress. It concerned me, I spoke to him about it, and he stopped. He does not drink every night, but just a handful of times a year. Hes a genius. I'm all about unwinding with some drinks and depends on if its hard drinks or just 5 beers. So I went about my day normally and really thought something was going on around 3pm. And yeahshe figured it out and got him out quickly after that, but he was deeply bruised and as a result had terrible jaundice, needing bili blankets through the fifth day and had muscular trauma in his neck that he needed therapy to correct for two years afterward. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. Hubbys problem is that he likes to talk. I gave birth in a Cambodian hospital that, well lets say was set up with top notch 1950s style equipment. If that isnt bad enough, he dropped my right leg DURING labor, to show my doctor the outfit my daughter would be wearing home! And often I wonder if this is healthy. And then I would unleash hell. This went on all day. Why do I remember the date so well? Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . My wife was not pleased. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. At 7 am, doctor broke my water. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. Ask the medical staff questions. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. Get this man an epidural. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. I would have the conversation when he isn't drinking and is in a good mood. I was two weeks overdue, had been induced and then sent home because nothing was happening. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. He came home around 5 when my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and proceeded to watch tv and eat dinner. Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. Don't take anything personally. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. He slept it off too long, that should be the only issue, nit that he ate. And in the US, up to thirty-eight million people have an alcohol addiction at some point in their lives. This is the best Ive got: . There is absolutely a possibility she'll go into labor and need him. Lydia Swortzel, 36, went into labor at 21 weeks with identical twins after seven years of infertility. Hours in labor: Never went into labor! He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. The elevator went up to the maternity clinic where i had to yell for help because i couldnt walk. 20 Tips to Deal With Unresolved Issues in a Relationship, 10 Signs Being in a Relationship With an Alcoholic Partner, A therapist or counselor will be able to help him, 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse in Addiction Recovery, 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship, Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and. My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. Haha! Here is a picture of him, having a little lie down with Jack about 20 minutes after he was born. When he finally woke up to go pee, I asked him for some ice chips and he told me he was tired and was just going to go back to sleep. I havent let him live that down. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. He would still have had alcohol in his system and in hindsight, a cab or ambulance would have been a better mode of transport. Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. Either way, the amniotic sac surrounding the baby has broken, and your kid is on the way. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. Take their thoughts and opinions into consideration before you make any decisions. That's why it's important to do the things that make you happy, such as hobbies, movies, great food - whatever floats your boat. Go figure! Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. That's some heavy drinking. Good grief you have issues. Amen. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. 7 min read. (Dont even ask about our planning ability! I would be concerned about YH having 5 drinks in one night on a regular basis. Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. 28 Examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. ? Mortified. Or speaking to each other in limited statements, such as Jack just shat his pants or the toilet is blocked. I waddle downstairs expecting everyone to be ready to leave and find them eating waffles and watching cartoons. Once emergency responders had arrived and . I was in labour for almost 24 hours with my first, and my hubbys mom brought him in a HUGE meal because she was worried hed be hungry while I enjoyed a meal of ice chips. Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. I don't believe Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective, personally, but it's free and the meetings are plentiful, so it might be a good place to start. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! She re-positioned the monitor and the needle was off both sides of the page. Driving drunk is a big effing deal. I finally woke him up to help me time them, since they were getting more intense. When a child is born, act up, misbehaves, it is still our child. Awww come on, suck it up. The doc said that was waaaaay too much and really unhealthy. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. Why do I remember the date so well? You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. With our fourth, he was perfect and even had to help deliver the baby!! He came back to the hospital with a thong. I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." Now, I love Firefly, but I will forever associate Captain Malcolm Reynolds saying I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you with the start of the worst pain of my life. I remember thinking . As he was putting the needle in my back, my husband let out a loud snore and the dr laughed. I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. We tackled more laundry. When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. If the birth of his child is not enough to deter him from drinking for a few weeks, then he has a serious problem. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? You need to have a serious talk with your DH. I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. I guess this is natures version of temporary amnesia because clearly, without it, wed never go back for more. He will NEVER live that down. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Mine wasnt nearly as bad as these more just funny. That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. So when my mom showed up to help out, hes so busy talking to her that Im having to hit him in the arm every time a contraction came so he would rub my back the only thing I asked him to do (hard back labor). We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? I don't know what kind of birth you're planning, but the Bradley books (Husband-Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, IIRC) are very insistent on how important it is that the husband be there to support, etc. Why do you women, not tell your foolish husbands long before you give birth, what you will not tolerate from him during your birth. He complained he was sick and went to the ER. This happened to my friend. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. I was laying on the bed playing And E was sitting in my desk chair. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! This is why it is important for you to encourage him to seek professional help for alcohol addiction treatment if he seems hesitant to do so. Its a natural tendency to try and take control of the alcoholic husband in order to make things right. If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. Thats it, just shut up and he was infuriated. Needless to say, I snapped but couldnt yell at him in fear of waking up my sister (our babysitter) and our 2-year old. I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! However, this might not be a good decision, ever. It was like something from a movie. HELLO! Nothing until we got home. No seriously, it was my due date. If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. All. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! Pack your own hospital bag. (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). Many people told me that being induced would be really difficult, long, and painful. 9. She gives me her phone number . In some cases, there are no signs. Well, theyre in denial because they believe theyre not creating any problems due to overdrinking. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! for fear that he would pass out. He said that it was probably nothing and I should try to get some sleep. He said he felt so guilty and was terrified he was going to get pulled over. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. This must help. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, My foot hurts. REALLY? I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. Labor started picking up, but the contractions never developed a regular pattern. Well, after 21 years we are still happily married and you have to realize that you have to take the good with the bad. Have you ever discussed this with friends and inquired about how much their husbands drink? But still no medal. I think I'm always stopping to prepare for the recipients reaction. at around 11 pm when i started to vomit and asked if we should probably get to the hospital he said are you sure this time? Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. I have to say that he was horrified. Thanks! 1 Answer. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. Thanks for the laughs though! She never left my side, fed me frozen Gatorade chips for hours, and knew exactly what to do(and by the way, shes never been pregnant and never wanted to be.). A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. I am so thankful and blessed I dont have a story to share like this. This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. Apparently i was keeeping him awake. To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. I woke DH up around 2 or so once I realized I was in labor, and he drove me 20 minutes to the hospital. I understand your concern about getting to the hospital when you're in labor, but have you considered the bigger picture? While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. OR MAYBE you've been putting it off for awhile and you're doing it because you know you need to stop procrastinating! Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. My husband was trying to time my contractions to see when we should go to the hospital. He was only slightly better with our third. It's your body's way of protecting your baby . This consultation should happen long before a manager is faced with a worker who might be drunk on the job, she said. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. I mean he would have just stayed home and played video games, if I had given him the impression that Ill be okay on my own. My water had broken at 6pm while I was at work, they wouldnt allow me to drive home and the doc said it was too early to come in so I waited over an hour for my now ex husband to pick me up. -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. I was scared. Baby. I was furious! Our son was born in the morning. But when he does, he is belligerant and can't stop and just a few. 10000% this. I've tried explaining this to him, but he . Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. This makes me smile and has healed that little part of me that resented having to be alone and strong at that one beautiful moment. Yeah right. Amy Dickinson. Honestly more hurt that thats more important, then it is funny! I turned to my husband and asked him to grab me a snack out of our bags. After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. I gave birth to our baby in our house on our bed till i was discovered by his fifteen year old niece. Yeah. The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). I made his mom clean it up and get him into the bathroom where he passed out on the floor. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). She had yummy ice chips and broth. Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. Im in labor! There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/spouse, https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-stop-if-you-love-an-alcoholic-67300, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol, 5 effects of living with an alcoholic husband, Dealing with an alcoholic husband: 10 ways. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. It can vary widely. My water broke in the middle of the night, we made our way to the hospital and once we arrived i was put in a wheel chair, wheeled into the elevator and left unable to walk because of pain while my husband went to find a free parking spot. I had our birth center bag ready. And then I was really shocked when talking with an older lady at church who told me she went into labor naturally on Dec. 31, 1964, and the maternity ward was . Out of all the natural ways to induce labor at home, nipple stimulation is one of the most reliable options. this was his fourth child. husband drunk when i went into labor. In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. He had fallen back asleep. Whos really stupid? Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? We didnt go to bed until midnight. -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first.