The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. It must have cost a fortune to feednot to mention the mess. This would lead to a better, more stable economy. GrrrrI had a nifty rant all planned out in my head. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). Is this getting confusing to you? *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! But somewhere, it exists. In a moment of inspiration, I asked her who America fought. I'm leaving. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. And, are monkeys spelled monkies? No? 20 min ago Maybe you'll break free. This is too frustrating. But this proof degrades this mysterious, mystical and mystifying "quality" of my words. It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. All the good possibilities effectivly cancel out the bad ones, leaving the sum total of you and your counterparts experiences as nothing. In any case, my theory means that playing video games is very cruel. In Math, one teeny, tiny little mistake will make you get the entire thing wrong. Does the commercial take that into account? I now officially have proof that someone has been here! 46 min ago (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Image by Carl Van Vechten, via Wikimedia Commons. "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. Typical. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. He snuck up on me one day in our room (in the game) with a sword! And the preceding generations became brain-washed (possibly through subliminal messages in sun-tan lotion commercials) to believe tans were expected. It cannot behmmmmmaybe I should just use IMAGINARY duct tapeit's easier to come by ,but it's much more expensiveI'm not sure what to do. He acted like he was really being tortured and stuff. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. This has been a public service announcment. But none have struck terror in her little moose heart like this particular feather. That's it, I'm gonna take drastic measures! Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. This is just way too much of a change at once. I've finnally figured out sorta, maybe, kinda, how to do stuff to make it more real. I'm back. Why can't I? It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. You cannot deny the logic of my thinking! It was pretty good. And mildly weirded-out. And, if you call within the next ten minutes you get a free eight ball with the one you buy! But for a different reason. This choice is simply an extension of his original choice: he will save Trinity at all costs. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. If you can spare any of these items, please e-mail them to me. What values, you say? The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. Well, look at you? Why do I have to work year round? Yeahthatguyyou know who I'm talking about. THAT IS ALL. Isn't vast a funny word? It seems like blaggerent plagerism. Not my family! In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemenif you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. It's not like I have anything better to do. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. You feel very, very honored. Like a muffin. 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! I don't suppose you fell for that little thing about the refresh button. Although I acted like an idiot. Not that I know anything about medicineor cancer for that matter. WaitI really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. | 13.45 KB, JSON | There are now longer sentences in English writing. I'll will most likely still be adding to this on my death bed. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheeseand chickensand flame. Or, would that be good? But true. "Purified" water. Of course, there is also regretafter all, I could have made a fortune if I'd been the first to think of it. But without the bad sound track. I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. I've been obsessed with various webcomics, creating the stupidly long new Phobia Quiz and being maniacly hysterical about my site always being down due to bandwith issues. Why do weird people (myself included) obsess about monkeys? They give lots and lots of homework. Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paperclips (ME!!!) MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? What makes them undesirable for pie? SEEYA! And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. I have an extra-special rant for you all today, to celebrate the new domain name! I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. How did you ever guess? I'd rather drink the "impure" tap water where at least I KNOW that someone, somewhere tested it. YES, I'M YELLING! Hmmmmmmm. Furthormore, is it considered accepted behavior to talk to these dead reptiles, in a cooey, baby talky kind of voice? Once upon a time there lived a chief who liked to listen to stories. It's wrong, I tell you. Come on all you non-existing people! Why am I writing? But I couldn't have sung it 'cause it would have woken everyone up and they would have called me inconsiderate. You'll wear these "festive" earings for about a day and then abandon them in some dark cranny of your closet because you simply can't wear the same earrings two years in a row for heaven's sake! They particularly liked how I said that she went back and ran over it 11 more times. MOOOO! Oh, well. But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. They are not great neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great because of their sheer length. (on accident, vast number of times) Hee-Hee! And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. It's not fair. I wonder if I've made the world record? (Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blindor stupid) &#!#%&&!!! Just like all those reports people have to do. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. If you expect nothing, and get nothing, you feel nothing. I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. Because there are an infinite number of people on either side of the spectrum. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. So we were already off to a bad start. Creepy. Any way, that's it for now. Although I tell you she can't possibly be normal, since she hangs out with me. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. The end is not here. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. well never know but oh crap its starting to snow and its time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now its gone, farewell so long Ill miss you as long as you write but then Im afraid to say good-night. After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. Oh, yeah! Okay. EryeahI'm back. I guess I'll just have to wait untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank truck. It's really stressfull. At least it's over. Most book lovers would agree that coming across a very long sentence in a novel can sometimes require multiple reads to comprehend. I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. I'm so very, very tired. 'Ah the power of cheese!' I need to find a topic. Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. Is this eating up time? I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. 189,819 Letters Yes, that number is correct. But it's legs were still moving and it was alive. NowI bet you're wondering why I don't just wake up a few minutes before I have to go. Lots of people spoke. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Seeya. What's that. I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! I'm back. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. Of course, you won't want to do that becuase you still need more earrings so people won't think you wear the same ones over and over again. The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. I chanced to have an interview with an informant from this evil generation (my little sister) who will be called Mrs. X for security reasons (no, she's not married, the "Mrs" makes it good as a disguise) I was quizing Mrs. X on Civil War History for an upcoming test in her classroom (whose location can not be devulged) Mrs. X seemed fluent in the subject. I can't really work on this site even though I now have a more in depth understanding of variables. I see. Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. *enter Squirell* What's that, little Squirell? A la recherche du temps perdu by Marcel Proust., I got a sentence that was 5639 words long, i just looked it up so can can copy and paste it on my school chat for fun not to read, I just wanted to say, i really like cheese, andi thinki think my teacher is mad at me sry waitshes mad because i was asking my other teacher questions about work online hmmm.my teacher sure is a ##### ass feminist, i just wrote a sentence with 1,289 words so ha. I dunnoI guess I'm just kinda freaked out. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. This sentence is the longest. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. I HAVE POWERS PINTO BEANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF! Oh, well. Then everyone would cut and scrape themselves to be covered in scabs. Obviously, you know this. Who would have thought I have this much free time? You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! They're listening for a secrretno it's cause of a secret. She was extremly upset. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. There is a world where you are a faerie. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. about my site, and called me weird. This morning, my Mom came home from work. You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! The possibilities are literally endless. I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. Suprised? I have to wonderwhy would Kodak do such a thing. How do you stop them? Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. Lots of gooey talent. Warning* Extremely long pasta. thats iti so tiredbye-bye. Here we go! I've won 500 np, at least and I'm on a roll. Somy lack of a car and driving skills force me to use the bus, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school even starts. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. So, everyone went to the beach and got tans. Minerals added for a pure, fresh taste." 11. Today we had a "family outing." What a crazy idea. I had some conspriacy or another to rant about. (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). Wellit's not. Okay. What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. He always enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. Login Sign up. After graduating with a BA in Fashion and Textile Design in 2013, Emma decided to combine her love of art with her passion for writing. Seeya. How discouraging. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. I'm gonna go hug a moose. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. PlusI gots oblimagationsobligaton.obligations to this site. To prevent this, I did nothing. These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. Not only does Faulkners deep affiliation with his characters inner lives elevate his portraits far above the level of local color or regionalist curiosity, but it animates his sentences, makes them constantly move and breathe. Hits all right. Gotta gothe Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. I'm already half way there, since I conclusivly proved (in Physics class) that gravity actually causes things to slow down and EVENTUALLY GO UP! Follow him at@jdmagness, by Josh Jones | Permalink | Comments (30) |. I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. As you read this Historicly Accurate Anecdote, you must realize the parallel between it and the fable The Emperoro's New Clothes. Too Bad! Did you know that I now possess a DOMAIN NAME? By the time you're eighty, you'll have enough ear jewelry to open up your own jewelry shop. I can clone myself and form and angry mob? i am tiredbut cannot go to sleep. The moon has one-sixth of Earth's gravity. I think I hear a monkeyOkaynow I'm back. That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). Okayon to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. The whole thing. DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! Now I want you to go to http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=eon" If you do this I'll get points in the game. Seeya. Enjoy! I'm back. thank you always. She likes sniffing potentially dangerous stuff, like electrical sockets. If my sisteruhMrs. X were ever asked a question on the Civil War on a quiz show, she'd come up with nothing. It's an outrage! Well, I better leave before I go on and on about more "reality" theories. Yes. I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunesI gotta go! In any case, she is clearly insane. *gagged reader glares* What's that? I'll probably have another one soon, but that whole water thing has been buggin me for awhile. Plus, the fire gradually gets louder, and hotter, and smokier. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. It's like this. I spend from 8-5 doing what everyone else wants. I mean, don't you think the creators of Cheese-Nips had a box of Cheez-Its out when they were designing their product? *holds up a piece of paper, which, from a distance, appears to have writing on it* Yes, undenyable proof! *nods* I thought so. Okay, maybe it was the ranch dressing instead of the special, fresh buffalo wings. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. I love my work, I love the kids I work with. The first use of "had had" is a modifier, and the second instance serves as the main verb of the sentence. Would that be considered poetic justice, or just a nice coincidence? May your day be shiney! With a specific number of words. Here, see if you can find the super-secret message! Fire is free. To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which Im sure you have a copy of. And lots of you are probably gloating 'cause you don't have to get up 'till 8:30. Unless you're bored. You complete me in all ways. What kind of reasoning is that? I don't think I have any conspiracy theoriesexcept pop-ups/pop-unders. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it:) I am officially back. You'd have to find the end, of course. But one of my classes is work, and two others are horrible year-round classes. Because it is in those veyr colors that the Matrix is programmed! I am here to bring AWARNESS to your moosey soul! Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car.
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