Its definitely tough every year and Im on year 4. Ive been bombarded by e-harmony and match.com. I find myself taking too him when I get in bed Year four has gone by and I cry so many times during the day that I feel like it will never end. Excuse me BRUHH - Castro. There is always an emptyness in my heart. The pain will ease, it never goes but you learn to live a new life and found growth. I lived with her the last 8 yrs of her life & cared for her for the last 3 yrs. Thirty days later I lost my only sibling. No bots, proxies, or datacenters She was 2 when he went and she is robbed of her loving gramps. Well a couple months after he was killed. But.. we lost most of our family. Date Calculators. Him and I were very close. Well see how the third year is. I feel as though I cant breathe, like it smothering me. I am sitting here sobbing ..reading these missives! Ann! I never get a reply. I feel that its not fair to her or myself. Take it from an old guy. I lost my husband 2 years ago. At 66 tomorrow, birthday week for both of us. Im not sure if people are afraid to ask me over to their house or what. It is not till something happens in your life that you realise your not alone. Two hours later my daughter was wondering why Dad didnt reply all of her texts, she tried calling him many times but no answer, 45 minutes later a cop knocked on our door and told me he was in the ER, I didnt think much of it, my oldest daughter ran to the ER where he was ( we live a few feet away from the hospital) while I am taking care of my then 7 years old son. He was retired and they always stood at the window and waved me off in the morning. He came into my life defending me from a bully. well lo and behold, who knew the second year would be a living nightmare. Id rather be home. The medical services made that a nightmare but at least I had his support then. Best to you. I also lost my husband to pulmonary fibrosis although he also developed two tumours on his lung. We were short 5 people for holiday dinner in one year. We get together once or twice a week and have made no plans for a future together. I miss you so much. My heart goes out to all of those who have left comments in this thread. I suggest a book by Megan Devine called Its Ok That Youre Not Ok. Blessings to each of you on your journey. He was sick for 6 months and then passed. She has seen so much suffering. I empathize with you. I feel horrible. We are all torn apart. I have had it with the insensitivity of some friends one in particular This is my 2nd Christmas without my beloved husband of 30 yrs. People are cruel regarding mourning time. Many blessings for all of you. This pain is not forever. The longer its been since weve seen them or heard their voice. This family maximum is determined as part of every Social Security benefit computation. I understand the empty feeling, the terrible ache. Couple of months of disbelief and struggle. This week for no particular reason has been extremely hard. I lost my mum very suddenly on the 18 January 2017. 100% safe for your site I do have friends and church family that will not allow me to stay inside for very long. I know your husband is with you in spirt. The pain is unbearable. Lots of noise. My heart is breaking. I am the same. All Im asking is live for the love of your husband his memory lives on in you and your children, I dont really think your husband would want you to do this to your children. Can I move on and remain? Feeling lost and lonely, my upbringing makes me believe religiously, however I do have doubts, mainly feeling as if I was robbed (which I think is me being selfish). Really! "Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply" - Zane Grey. I want to share with you all what happened to me last night. I do know that he is at peace and at rest. It was a privilege to have caught a cracking beautiful ladys eye. Ive been through Mothers Day, her birthday, funeral, favorite holiday 4th of July, and a her wedding anniversary, which would have been 11 years. Reading others comments soothes me some and I thank you all. But I miss my husband every day and feel Im in an impossible situation. I dont know exactly. He died in my arms. What should be our 17th wedding anniversary is in two days. He passed fifteen days after our 47th Anniversary. In the poignant track's lyrics, G-Eazy describes longing to reunite with someone in his dreams . Its almost like drowning, Amber. I struggle to find ways to fill the time and have struggled to find friends who get it. My husband has been gone for 5 1/2 months now and there are days I am almost immobile with the grief; I didnt even know it was possible to cry this hard or that it could actually cause physical pain to grieve. Glad I happened onto this website where I can share such deep feelings that I used to share with the love of my life. I am 41 and lost my husband suddenly 13 months ago. Initially, I felt shocked. I am in Year #2 and do know how these thoughts can creep in..But sucuide leaves so much suffering for those that remain. Your skin loses its moisture and its elasticity, so it shrivels up a bit. Do not see life as getting in the way of your love for your husband, Im sure he wouldnt want that either. I still love them all for the years we spent together and for what they meant to my wife. Trying the best I could to just be. Now this next bit my shock some of you but I felt relieved. Its the hardest thing to go through. However, in my experience, I did not want to live after I lost my wife..for most of the year. Freind I have no interest in life. im old hahahaha I used to wake to a tear soaked pillow but that hasnt happened in a while. My days run together, its the absolute worst heartache Ive ever experienced. We did everything together. I hope we both find peace somehow, someday. You just described ME. He battled his fibrosis for around eleven years, never giving up and walking the dog faithfully every day until this horrible illness got a final grip on him. I am English but have a wonderful friend in Alabama also a widow . Feel your feelings, cry when you need to. Even though we had hospice care, there was so much confusion about what was happening to her and if she was getting the right treatment; there was so much decision-making which is fatiguing; the living room where she slept for the last three months became cluttered with medical supplies and bottles of pills. It's been 20 years since you passed. Maybe its a happy memory or a photograph. I am now 23 and I can assure you that the pain never goes away. Made some new friends as well, attend a different church. FREE 15 minute consults available to www.griefincommon.com members. Good luck., I feel your pain. I was with my husband since 17 years old and 46 years married. Life is so unfair. I havent eaten a real meal since it happened. He was diagnosed with an advanced cancer and died less than a month after. I used to look forward to this time of year but Im not there yet. I lost my parents, & two sisters and the pain could not compare with this. When I say I miss my husband; the words I miss him, mean so much more than what those 3 words are portraying. I dont have a lot of emotional stamina to fake it anymore. My older brother my only sibling. boost ranking in SERP, SEO, profit from CPM, CLAIM YOUR 24 HOURS FREE TEST HERE=> [email protected]. It has been 6 months since the first dog's death, Nugget. My Father refused to talk about my Mum, I got out at age 17 & came to live in the UK. The pain is worth it and no one is spared. God Bless, I understand where youre coming from Sharon. As we approach our 24th wedding anniversary on 9 Nov, I yearn more and more for her. Christmas, Easter, my birthday, and now most recently we just suffered a loss five days ago, Thanksgiving, the last holiday not colored by the death of someone special to me. Every day is a struggle doing better with Councellor,but I miss him sooooo much Only once in a while I say anything about it anymore. We are not supposed to understand. Specially because many times he said to me if I didnt get back with him he didnt want to be here anymore. In July 2016, we decided to move to Wichita so he could closer to his family. I have days of no energy or ambition. My baby girl passed away 6 months later. For those 7 years since you passed away I've missed your voice, your hugs, your laugh and your face. I can hardly read through all my tears for me and for everyones post were not alone. People dont understand the loss. Ive always suffered from anxiety, though have been mentally strong & lived through bringing up a disabled child, without a lot of support. But I get no answers God doesnt tell me why just to trust Him. My husband had alzheimers disease for 8 years and the past 3 years of that time were very hard, as his memory slipped away more and more. I am so lost still. Its been 16 months since my husband of 51 years died. She managed to beat breast cancer but mysterious complications ultimately took her life. I pushed my way through year one, just knowing that if I could make it through that then all would be better. I constantly think of him and cry because our 55 years together made us so close and we even got to think alike after all that time. My husband died 2 years ago (his anniversary, April 20, 2019). Every moment I remember her, not a single day after she left I did not crymy family/friends say you must move on. But taking steps to understand your emotions and find support can . My two. I have always been a sensitive person and now I am finding I take things too personally and feel hurt or angry. I will never be a grandmother she worked at pet smart. We only had 4 weeks from his diagnosis to his death, so it was all terribly fast. I lost mom 14 months ago. I havent decided if thats true or not yet. You were and always will be the love of my life. She never loved anyone like I did my husband, and cannot fathom why I am still grieving after all he was a very sick man and he just couldnt have lasted longer. We married at age 19. After all, without hope and faith, what do we have? I think about her every single day. Today she would've turned 3. I am very active in my church have lovely friends and family but they are busy caring for their own lives. I just want to be gone too. We were married 28 years and I miss him so much and we have 2 grown boys. Somewhere down the line, and its different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. I havent lived since the diagnosis last June. I lost my husband 2 years ago suddenly and left behind with 2 young children. Crying is healing. Big hugs. grief come anytime. The reason I say this is that he was 80 years old had a good life and I am not on my own as I have a wonderful husband and yet the tears still flow. I been trying to get my life in order such as trying to find a job. What hurts me the most is that I wasnt with him when he died. She has no idea what this loss feels like, what your love felt like, or what is right for you. They tell me they are mourning too but are moving forward. I look up at the sky and think of my husband all the time. I lost the love of my life 13 months ago, suddenly of lung fibrosis. Time Flies Quotes. The one who had a special smile only for you, who knew your heart and soul, who really cared, and then you are alone. I wish I could say something that would make it better, but my faith tells me that the Lord has given you both a season in life, and that season has ended. I have given up everything I use to love to do. I pray that these feelings will pass soon as I am so fed up crying. "It's been a year since you passed and your presence is always missed.". First, i must say i am so sorry for all the losses of those posted here. I try to live life as if I am ok, but I am not. I feel like you do after my husband was murdered a year ago and then my beloved dog died. My siblings grieve with me, maybe they handle their emotions better. I try to be positive and move forward. What helped me a little was to think that she was traveling and that she was coming back home in a few days The second year was just as difficult but, for different reasons. Glenna had a massive stroke right after After I took him off life support. I still am filled with sadness and feelings of not being able to go on without him. Doctors once said I would never be able to conceive. I was hyper vigilant about every little thing; trying to hold on tight and control everything to keep from going under. Whatever the truth of mortality is, I wish someone would have told me in those early months that no one else can know or own your love. I have not traveled this road as long as you have but I can not imagine a time where I will not miss my love nor a time when tears and despair will not arise but I can see where I will be better though it may be a long time from now. I have not had a single day without tears since she was diagnosed.Yes, just over 18 months. Iwant to stop talking about him as much, but cant. Im now starting the 2nd year after the sudden loss of the love of my life. I felt relieved when he passed away, because I know he's not hurting anymore. When we are adjusting to oneness each day is a learning experience. I wish I were there to give you a hug. I know that you have been observing me from Heaven for many years. I feel totally broken, and none of my friends understand, they just get in with their lives in a way I can never do again. And I took him of life support. together. It's been one year since we lost [name of person who passed]. My dad died 20 months ago. Collapsed at our 49th anniversary dinner. I feel I am grieving harder now then the first year after he died. I miss him so much and want to be close to him again. I do not know what long enough means. I cannot fathom spending the rest of my days balanced on this double edged sword! I pray for you and your recovery! Nearly a Yr on that pain never goes away. I went to grief counseling along with my youngest Son who was 13 at the time and She was just 51 years old and bravely battled cancer for six years. One user wrote the following heartfelt plea online: My friend just died. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. I find it heartbreaking to see their grief and I feel embarrassed about having a boyfriend who has brought some sun into my life. I try to be strong for everyone but cry myself to sleep most nights not sure what Im supposed to do next. My friends have gone on with their own lives. Its 16 month my wife left me alone in this world, my pain is getting worst day by day! Im comforted to know that others feel the same. Oh Casey, I feel just like you. She forgot who I was on Christmas Day 2015. Not up and down but flat and down. I try to take steeps forward. I see little progress in me from when he first passed. Hi- I just read your storyits almost been 2 years since my husband died. I hope you have survived you thoughts of taking you life. Just into the 2nd year since the passing of my husband. She died at the age of six from a 1 in a million chance disorder called fires. And worked she was sick of hospitals. Hang in there for you and family. Nothing left for me. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago in February and i still dont feel any different, now i have more good days than bad but im still in a lot of pain and crying and depressed because i am missing him. Boys seeing so sad. He was my everything. Now, Im in year two and I feel like Ive awoke from a coma. I just come home and enjoy the dogs and just survive the day. But when they get close I bail out. i can stare at the bookwork i need to do and its as far as i get. We loved, lived and laughed lots.. God bless you all. Nicely written by Emma J Andrews. Please think about your children and their pain and reconsider your actions. Because as time passes and people around us go back to their lives a griever can beleft with nothingbutgrief. Others think you are strong and doing fine. I dont know why the first year I felt it was all a dream and my son wasnt really gone. Its been two years coming up and the loss has gotten worst. I would add that while I have totally accepted the finality of my husbands death I have yet to decide or define my own life now. I really like your attitude to life despite your huge loss. He was my first father daughter dance, he was in the room when I was born, I lived with him and my mom for the first four years of my life. I had no idea how intense caregiving was until I went through it. This is quite normal as animals have qualities our fellow humans do not seem to indicate.Please refer to this link: https://thepetlosscenter.com/our-locations/hampton roads/. Though it's been years now since you were taken away, the memories are still strong, and I wish you were here today. We both had been married before and had children. I made it through. They were able to get a heartbeat, he was on ventilator and all tests everything came back to normal. Hi Sharon I am short tempered and any direct insult toward me sets me off. Since my mom's passing I've had four dreams about her. My dog had her puppies on on Xmas day my husband was put to rest two days before Xmas. Love, Robin. It was supposed to be just an ordinary weekend, and the day before he was feeling great, and the next evening I am driving him to ED. I am 75, married 44 years to the sweetest , caring man one could ask for. I'm dropping a video in a few minutes on this WHY? I cannot remove all that I know he was going through from my mind. I still have to live. TERRI..It is 13 months and 20 days since my soul mate died..yesterday in work I felt truly happy for the first time since he died..it is 10pm today and the whole day has bee one of the worst..I have two dogs so I hide away ..put my head down on my arms and cry so they cant hear me.I work full time so am OK in work but I am so lonely without him..my children are interstate..along with my bestie of 50 years.I have no close friends outside of work..I make an effort to go out and socialize but am surrounded by couples..so come home as I miss him even more..if it werent for my two dogs I wouldnt be hereI dont know how much longer I can live live thisI have told no ome else how close I am to ending my own life..this lasses but right now the urge is overwhelming me..thanks for reading..if you doI am writing to you as you have the most recent post.. Ann.. Then then 13m on, a huge ugly cry at new yeartook me to the next step of thinking i was ok. I remarried in 2012 after dating for 5 years my second husband died 6 weeks later of heart attack on his way to work at the fire department. And took over my wifes life I came home valentines night from work found my wife leaning against the wall on the floor. Its little victories like that will shepherd you into what WILL be a happy future. We had been married for 58 years. 2. With By pass surgery. Many days I cling stubbornly to the memories of him and even to the grief as I do not want to let anymore of him go. I just felt he was near. - Unknown. Thats when my life changed. I appreciate being able to write my feelings down and my heart goes out to you all. I lost my soulmate 23 months ago and am surprised at the intensity of my sorrow. It has been 18 years since I lost my husband, and I will tell you, it does get easier. I am so sooty for all the people who is suffering such pain, maybe they are just waiting on us . The death of your child and the pain that comes with it don't disappear after 10 years another reality I slowly crashed into. I have an idea. Its 2 years since I lost my husband n best friend. I would fix it if I could but I now know deep down that I cant. It can be from 150 to 180 percent of the parent's full . Good luck! Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the grief-slog of these past 14 months. Today I took an afternoon nap and when I woke up., i finally got dressed at 5:00 why bother. One of the other time not so pleasant with her saying what are you going to do now I just know that no matter what happened in our lives good or bad is that I Love her and miss her so much and i now realize how much she Loved myself and her children after finding letters that she has written over the years telling us how much she Loved us and how much she wanted to get better and how much she wanted her family back. I still cry hard for him day, and beg him to come home to me. I am now alone . But I will say that youll come to see the pain differently, itll mutate and one day youll find that the furst thing you do when you think of him or hear his name is smile, not cry. Thank you. Four month After losing him, I lost my job. I feel guilty that I am still mourning the loss after two years of my brother`s passing. I am 54 now. People say that when a door closes, God gives us a window. I also never realized during the entire course of me caring for her, how fearful I was of getting sick. And usually in his favourite colours. We got so close over the years, I cant bear being without him. I have been plotting along now for 2 years 4 months. I lost my son 19 months ago and I dont believe I will ever get on with my life. His cancer was a rare and aggressive form and he was gone within 6 months of his diagnosis. I went online and read countless stories from others. Take each day at a time, pray and thank God for the time he gave you with her. The second year was painful that my wife of 28 years was not experiencing trips I was taking or vacations with our daughters. It doesn't heal them, but it gives us the opportunity to learn from them. Year number 1 I was numb. Nothing like my kind caring husband. See a translation. We loved each other like no other. I am 76 and my health seems OK but mentally I am a wreck. My throat hurt so bad, I could hardly talk. I thought I was moving forward but the holidays have definitely set me back. He was my soul mate, we did evrything together except our jobs. Moving forward just doesnt seem possible. It is really hard to get through this if you do not take care of your bodies needs- water, food and rest as well as some exercise. Im just beginning my second year after losing my husband of 50 years. At 71 I am sure it will be a hard until I leave this world. Never to be the same, never to fit into normal again. so tight that only death could break it.And it did. How do I start to heal? Maybe it is because we all thought if we made it to the first anniversary how could the pain not ease up. Psychiatrists want to put me on SSRIs and mood stabilizers because they believe I have bipolar disorder as a result of fluctuating moods. I lost 2 strong important women in my family at the end of 2018. lost both my boys 2 years ago 37 38 4 2016 and 9 2016 you are in my thoughts and prayers . What to do now with the time Im given and the people before me? The first year, I was in a fog, very forgetful, sad, depressed & feeling lost. Ive lost countless close family, but the loss of my husband (best friend, greatest champion, confidante, teacher, counselor in life, one in a million love), is simply unbearable. Unbeknownst to either of us he had a very enlarged heart. A Erwin Raphael McManus. I lost my husband of 57 years two years ago and cant adjust. I find hard to go on with life. I walk around with a smile and hide my pain from family and coworkers. I could see the tree that was snapped in half. Time does not necessarily heal. Im remember things I wish I would have done and several moments I wish I could have done better. Im in my 16 month. I always go to sleep hoping God we let me see her in a vision or dream. See more ideas about grief quotes, grieving quotes, miss you dad. I will be 67 later this year. But the terrifying thing about grief is how easy it can be to function in your day-to-day life while it quietly eats away at you. We bought this old farm house many years ago and we worked hard to make it the home we wanted. Brain tumour April 2017 blood clots July 2017 diagnosed with moderate cold August 2017 op for brain tumour Nov 2017 death of mum Nov 2017 deep vein reflux June 2018 he was my rock my life my only ever love and he is gone. I have never recovered and the se ond christmas this year is,worse than last year. 40 years with my husband and losing him has been so very hard.And yet Ive discovered so much about myself. If there is a God please let me die. This week marks five years since my mom passed away. And lots of shipwrecks. I am very bitter Had a letter from Hospital admitting neglect but I havnt got my Husband the love of my life, I am struggling to get on with my life but its so hard as it is for everyone on this forum, We no longer live we exist, Pam xx. you learn to live with it, this is so true. My everything. I find that rem9feling our home has opened a myriad of emotions that sent me reeling. I have trips planned, do volunteer work, try to be active in my church, but I realize the hole in my heart will never heal. Thank you for listening. And other waves will come. Yesterday i felt like a knife plunged into my heart 2 years ago and hasnt come out yet. I blame myself a lot because I tell myself what if what if. I was her carer at home till she passed away and now I am broken hearted and dont know what to do. She passed suddenly from a heart attack. In other words, there was nothing they could do. Wendy, i lost my mother/best friend 16 months ago and feel the same, nothing will ever be the same again and we are all just a little spot in time. I lost my wife on December 2017 to cancer. Finding him was torture. Im just over a year without my darling wife.. We all have a whole lot in common whether its short or long term living marriage, a lover, a friend or a family loved one. People told me after the first year it would get better. Thats hard at 69 . I thought getting through the first year would be the hardest but as it turns out year two is just as bad. Its bittersweet reading all the comments thinking Im only on my 2nd month and some took forever to move on. He also missed eating her sticky rice because according . Very first time I laid my eyes on my bf I was in love. I dont know whats gonna happen. That is due to family saying their final goodbyes, and now Im planning what next with my life. . Never to forget what you hadnever, never, never! the kids are so closed to him also, I am so broken. For example, the function returns "4 months" between the dates 9/30/15 and 2/28/16 (even though the 28th is the last day of the month). I lost my husband 20 months ago. I am up and down. We have to keep going & move forward & grieve whenever we feel like it. It is still painful, sorrowful, and lonely. Death is such a natural part of life but its so cruel what iteaves behind. I worry this may go on too long. A second Christmas without a child. We have to carry on, remember them (I still find it difficult to use memories as a crutch, as theyre a reminder that hes not here!) The heavy chemo treatments, drs appts, etc left me so overwhelmed at the end. The first year was a whirlwind of emotions and things that needed to get done. I dont really like the person I am at the moment, but am hopeful Ibwill feel more complete, When my husband was ill and I spent a lot of time stressed and worried, I told a friend that previously my life had been like a bracelet of pearls, but now the pearls were interspersed with pebbles, no more complete happiness. It will be two years this month.